How It All Began
by Za Great Prussia
Summary: Nick looks back on the day and case that brought himself closer to the SVU Units favorite doctor. And how the case brought out certain truths and memories of the past that Nick never knew the doctor could have ever gone through. N x G.


"Ah-Harder-ah!" Smooth skin, beautiful eyes, and a nice on the ears, deep, but toned voice. Everything about him could drive anyone with an actual brain wild. George Haong. Sexy and brilliant. He's smart, beautiful, honest, and best of all, loyal. There's just a passion in him that you can just feel rolling off of him in waves.

It all started with a touchy case that left everyone a little on edge. It wasn't the case itself, no, it was because of the way it effected George. It was a murder case that took two very long months to find the killer and to reach a sentence.

A 49 year old white male was discovered tied to a metal bed post, naked, dead, and sodomized with a purple candle-stick by his wife returning home from work on a Saturday afternoon. The cause of death was strangulation and lack of blood flow due to the ropes on his wrists. The killer was found out to be his sixteen year old son.

Turned out that the boys father was a very outspoken homophobic man, bound by religious beliefs. His son was gay and the victim found out when the son was thirteen therefore taking it onto himself to make him pay for his so called "sins". He abused his son for three years, sexually and violently. Thinking that he was teaching him to be a man and change his ways. The mother never even knew that the son was gay let alone being abused.

The whole case and its outcome had devastated George at the time. It was no secret then or now that George is gay. No one talked to him about it until that particular case, but George gets a little emotional about some of the victims or very few of the perps that come to the precinct if its due to homosexual victimizing. So, the case got personal and things just didn't go well for the doctor at the moment.

*Flashback*

"You can't be serious!" It wasn't the best of days at the precinct. It's Saturday December 1st and tension was running high for everyone. The Chief had just decided that the case would be taken to court and the son, Justin Blake, would be tried for murder.

"We don't have a choice! I understand that he was abused for three years but he never killed him. He could have spoken up and stopped it!" Cragon fought.

"You know it isn't that easy! His abuse wasn't just his father beating him out of anger or shame! He sexually abused him thinking he was teaching him a lesson! But he was breaking him in the WORST possible way. It isn't easy to just speak up and say " Hello mother, I've been constantly raped by my bastard of a father", it doesn't work like that! It is emotionally tiring, it is terrifying. It's always that way. Why do you think that more than half of the rapes aren't reported? Because of the fear and control that the rapist or torturer has over the victim. Justin feared him. So much so, that he more than likely had a psychotic break and acted on his fear to escape. He doesn't even remember most of what happened. Just that he was ABOUT to take a beating from his attacker, then ended up with a murdered man that only his clueless wife will miss." The small doctor let out in an angered, rushed, voice. George's hands kept fisting and un-clenching and his eyes never left Cragon's. Benson, Stabler, and I were standing off to the side of the office, watching the argument go down. George was obviously on the kids side. Now he didn't want him to just walk. He just feels that the kid should see psychiatric help, and the not the inside of a cell for life, and get a chance for a better life. Now, Cragon and him are breathing down each other's necks.

"Look, Doctor-"

"No! This conversation is over! I, It's, I just can't do this with you right now." George stormed out of Cragon's office. The blinds on the window that shows the rest of the floor were drawn so I couldn't see where he went off to. Benson sighed and walked up to the chief's desk, taking a seat in the chair in front of it.

"Damn, this isn't good. Though, he does have a point. We even gave the kid a polygraph test, he told the truth the whole time. I'm sorry but George is right. I can't fully agree with you on this." Stabler and I stood off to the side still, listening to the two talk. I have to agree with George and Olivia, he needs help, not a punishment.

"Stabler, I want you to talk to the D.A. and see what you can do. Though I doubt that things will go for in favor of Blake having a normal life. Amaro, find Haong, see if he's alright." Cragon ordered. We both nodded and walked out of the office. I was just about able to hear Olivia start to explain Blake's case. I shook my head slightly and looked around the office.

It wasn't a grand entrance-way like a five-star hotel but it was large. Desks are pretty much the main make up of the furniture beside the chairs for them. They were evenly spaced and around the room and a large TV screen was near the entrance for technology based investigating. The color scheme was orange and was nice to keep some of the edge off.

I looked around the office for George. It's full of police officers and some civilians that wanted to report crimes and or give complaints as usual. But I didn't see the small doctor. I saw Fin on the other side of the room typing on a computer. Most likely processing and finalizing a case.

"Hey Fin!" He looked to the left at me and nodded his attention.

"You see George walk through here at all?" Fun didn't even hesitate to respond.

"Yeah, He did. Few minutes ago. I heard you guys going at it in the chief's office. When he came out he didn't look as Pissed as I thought he would be. I mean, at first, he looked pretty mad but then he just looked flat upset. Started shaking before he even made it out of the room."

"Where'd he go?" Fin thought on it for a second.

"When I think about it, looked like he was going off in the direction of the interrogation rooms" he pointed over his shoulder in the direction of a hallway. I nodded my thanks as I walked away in the same direction as George supposedly did.

This hallway is a one way hall. From here to an elevator. This elevator leads to an upper floor but that floor is more or less an oversized storage room that people barely ever visit. So if a person goes down this way, its for an interrogation.

George most likely came this way to be alone or blow off some steam. It's no secret that he can feel a little emotional or sympathetic for certain victims or perps but I've never seen him blow up like that before.

I've seen him aggravated, but for him to blow up at the chief like that? Just goes to show that there's more to people than they are willing to let on. Emotionally at least. I think the last time I blew up that loud and deeply when me and my wife were getting divorced.

I just hope he's okay. To be honest, I don't like it when he's upset. Or hurt, scared, and in danger. I can't admit it to a lot of people, but I really do care about the doctor... More than in a friendly way. I never intended for it to happen but it did. Ever since a murder and kidnapping case last year, I started to develop feelings for him. All a few months after my divorce. And they say being a cop is hard just from the work load.

I stepped off of the elevator on the correct floor and looked around. The doors to the elevator are in the middle of the hallway. On the left side of the hallway, one of the doors were slightly open for the watch room. I slowly walked my way over to the door and looked inside.

It's empty. In **this **part. This is basically how interrogation rooms are set up. The rooms are made of two parts and split by a wall with a window. This "room" is empty and the door that led to the actual interrogation part was slightly open and I hear... Sniffling? I made my way over to the door and looked in.

George didn't look like he normally did. Not at all. His jacket and tie are off, thrown into the corner of the room by the up high window. His shirt is un-tucked and his hair disheveled, as if he vigorously ran his hands through it. His back is facing me and he's visibly shaking and sniffing and slight sobbing could be heard.

"Damn it...*sniffs*.." I can't just stand here.

"George..." He soundlessly turned around. His eyes are red from crying and his face is stained with tear streaks.

"What are you doing here Nick?" He asked me. He sounded broken and... Slightly scared. I walked further in and closed the door, leaning on it.

"I came to see if you were alright George." He scoffed.

"Using my first name?"

"You used mine openly, why not?" He looked at me for a second before speaking. He looked like he was calculating me.

"I know we're friends but... I'm fine, so please, go back to work." I sighed and looked away towards the wall.

"Chief said it was fine." I looked back. "Look, George, I'm worried about you. I know this is emotionally... Strenuous, but-"

"It isn't just that! His father is-was- damn it! I assure you, it isn't just strenuous..." I looked at George for a second before moving to the chair at the table in the middle of the room and sitting down.

"George, he's dead. And the chief even had Stabler call and talk to the D.A. The kid, Justin, he may make it." He looked relieved for a second before he suddenly looked as though he was being reminded of something.

"It... I'm glad but... it isn't just that..." I was about to ask what he meant when I saw something on his neck. He's sitting on the table. Still has his back facing me slightly but he was twisting his body a bit to face me. The top of his shirt is unbuttoned and it looks like a scar. A long one two. It mostly goes around his neck until it stops at the back before it connects at each end. Now that I think about it, George didn't feel too sorry for the father... Oh my god. I could tell my eyes widened more than I thought they were when he looked slightly confused.

"George... How personal is this case for you?" He stiffened at my question. He turned away from me and put his hand over his mouth.

"George, please... Just tell me. I won't judge you. I swear on our friendship and my job." He slowly looked back to me with tears in his eyes. He simply looked at me for a minute before talking.

"I was fourteen. I had come out to my family and friends... My mother had said that she had always known. My father... He didn't care as long as I gave him a grandchild. Adoption or surrogate. My friends though... Most were okay, but... My... My one, true, best friend, he... He was always there for me. He knew all my secrets and I had found him to be trustworthy. The night after I had come out, he had invited me over his house to sleep over the night. I was ecstatic. I thought that he excepted me. Apparently... He excepted me too much." He stopped talking and took a breath. He looks anguished.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want too. I know it's hard-" He shook his head no.

"No, it's okay. I need to get this out. *Sigh*, I, I slept over that night. His parents weren't home that night or in the morning. When I woke up my friend was there, sitting next to the bed, awake and staring at me. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he was waiting for me. I had said sorry I took so long and offered t-to eat lunch, since I slept in so late. He said no as I tried to get up from the bed. He said he had been for years. Said I made it a... Special morning. I had asked what he meant and he kissed me. I pushed him away from me and asked him why he did that. He said that he was gay and hopeful for me. He tried to kiss me again and... Things got worse from there. He, he, pushed me down. I had told him to get off of me. He only forced himself onto me more. I fought back. He pulled a knife out of the nightstand next to the bed. He told me not to scream. But I couldn't help but scream. He... Slowly sliced it across my neck. It only made scream more. When he was done I had, had ran away. I never went back for my things. I didn't go home for days. When I came home, I never told anyone were I was or what happened." He was in tears by the time he finished talking. I never thought that the brilliant doctor that we've known to have gone through all that.

"George… I'm so sorry. I never would have thought-"

"That I of all people would have went through all that? Yes, it seems that I'm full of surprises." He interrupted me dryly.

"Don't say that. This isn't a surprise, it's tragic. Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked him. He looked at me like I had two heads. Anger bubbling and hiding in those eyes of his.

"And be treated like a victim. Have people look down on and pity me? Or how about the embarrassment I've felt for all this time, ever since it happened to me? The Shame? I never got over it. Just… didn't think about it. The only time I've **ever** been able to forget was when I was with…. Just forget it Amaro..." He looked back to the wall in front of him and went quiet on me. No. I am not letting this go. And using my last name? No, this isn't over.

"With?" I pushed.

"Just leave be detective."

"Stop doing that!" He jumped and looked back to me with wide eyes. I glared and looked right back at him. Moving around the table, I stood in front of him, putting my hands on each side of him on the table, leaning in.

"stop avoiding this. I know that when you get all professional and crap when your embarrassed or nervous but you've let this much out, why not more? I'm not going to lie, I'm worried about you. And this isn't the first time I've been worried about and I don't like to have to worry. Because whenever I worry, I have a right too, because it's always something important when you're angry, sad or just flat out depressed. I don't like it and I want to help however way I can. So George, let me in." He looked me in the eye. So many emotions could be seen in them. Fear, shock, worry, and flat out guilt. He opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times, trying to find the words he wanted to say in response. After a minute though, he did.

**I know, bad place to leave you hanging but please, review and tell me if you want me to continue.**


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